"If Wash O'Hanley didn't cover it, it probably wasn't that important anyway."

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Asians - The Devil's Squinty-Eyed Servants

Asians - The Devil's Squinty-Eyed Servants
A Comprehensive Guide to Asian People

Types of Asians:
Chinks (China), Nips (Japan), Gooks (Vietnam)


Things Asians do: Asians are the human equivalent of sheep and are prone to similar behaviors. Below is a list of things that many Asians are known to do.

Steal jobs and places in universities from white people- Look around any average US university and what will you notice? The places are all overrun with Asians. Asian people only try hard in middle and high school and get better grades than white people because they want to steal college placement positions that rightfully belong to white kids. Asian people have taken over America's institutions of higher learning and as a result are getting better jobs and making more money than white people. Even the Asians that didn't do well in school are stealing jobs from Americans that didn't do well in school by setting up sweat shops. Americans are losing their jobs to 12 year old Chinese kids that are willing to do the same job for a lot less money.

Poisoning Americans- Asians enjoy making hazardous toys, dog food and tooth paste that kills Americans.

Street Racing- Asians enjoy modifying inferior Asian-made cars and racing them illegally on the streets. Millions of people are killed every year in America as a result of this hobby.

Chinese Restaurants- Chinese Restaurants are the greatest pyramid scheme in the history of mankind. The kitchens in these restaurants are often overrun with cockroaches and rats that get into the food. While Asian people themselves do not actually eat Chinese food, they are more than happy to poison and overcharge "whitey" for Chinese food. They get away with it mostly because of the self-esteem-boosting fortune cookies.

Owning Laundromats- Most Asians own Laundromats because they enjoy smelling people's dirty underwear and masturbating on their clothes.


Asians are all atheists: The vast majority of Asians are atheists and worship Satan. While there are many "religions" in Asia, few promote the existence of a God, salvation or an afterlife of any kind.
  • 59% of the Chinese population is Atheist.
  • Christians are forbidden from bringing Bibles and spreading the word of Christ in most Asian countries.
  • Because they are atheists and do not subscribe to any moral code, nothing is preventing Asian countries from at some time in the future having a higher murder rate than Christian nations like America or Liberia.

All Asian nations are or were Communist:
Every Asian nation is or was at one point was Communist.


Asians have perverted names: Asian people like to choose names like "Wang" and "Dong" as a perverted joke. Nothing gets a little Korean guy's 2" penis harder than hearing a "stupid American" call him Wang during a business meeting. Many Asians also wear bowl haircuts so their heads will look like circumcised penises.


Asians are all cheap like Jews: Never go out to lunch with Asian people: they will never pick up the bill.


Comprehensive list of things Asians have invented: Asians have been responsible for inventing many things throughout the years; none of which have been of any use to normal people in the real world. Asians are incapable of creating anything that isn't sexually perverse or ultra-violent.

Hentai- Asians are so depraved they cannot have normal monogamous relationships; instead preferring to draw out their perverse sexual fantasies in the form of comic books. Typical hentai involves pedophilia, rape, bestiality, incest, transexualism, and tentacle rape (in which a tentacled monster rapes children): all disgusting acts to normal people that are endorsed and celebrated as normal in Asian countries.

Creepy Robots- All Asian people are robosexuals and are only sexually attracted to robots. Unable to connect emotionally with a person of the opposite sex (or even the same sex for that matter) and afraid of being made fun of for their freakishly small penises, Asians build robots that look like humans that will do things with them sexually that most humans wouldn't even be willing to do for money.

Karate is a form of performance art that Asians enjoy playing. Karate involves putting on pajamas and rainbow-colored belts and pretending like you're in an action movie fight sequence. Karate is the the gay version of the manly and American Mixed Martial Arts, made popular by Chuck Norris.

Video Games- Asians invented video games in order to corrupt the moral fiber of the world. Most video games allow the person playing it to do things like murder and rape without repercussion. Some say that video games allow people to act out their fantasies so they won't do them in real life, but in reality these are just training simulators so that the person playing it will be ready for when the time comes to actually rape or murder.

Rice Rockets- Rice Rockets are homosexual Asian motorcycles. The rider of the rice rocket must press their entire genital region on the seat of the bike as they ride. The vibrations from the engine and the road stimulate the rider's sex organs until they become filled with lust and debauchery.


List of Asian "accomplishments": Asians are known for being lazy and stupid. The entire continent of Asia has achieved very little during recorded human history, here is a substantial list of every major thing Asians have accomplished.

The Great Wall of China- Some unimpressive wall out in the middle of no where. Who cares?

Getting blown up by America- Many Asian countries are only famous because America blew them up. Asia is like the Monica Lewinsky of Continents: only famous because someone more powerful and influential blew a load all over them.

Massacres- Asians are despicable and vile "people" that are predisposed to shocking violence and it is not surprising that many of the world's greatest massacres were caused by Asians.
  • The Rape of Nanking stands as one of the worst massacres in the history of mankind.
  • Japanese terrorists attacked innocent Americans at Pearl Harbor without provocation.
  • The Virginia Tech massacre, perpetrated by an Asian, stands as the worst shooting during peacetime on American soil.

Famous Asian people: Despite being the world's most populated continent, Asia is responsible for producing only a handful of famous people, most of whom are disgusting degenerates that the world would be better off without. Below is a list of the most famous and influential Asian people.

Kim Jong Ill- Kim Jong Ill is a Communist dictator who has been responsible for the deaths of millions of people. He is a tyrant that suppresses his people: denying them freedom and forcing them to live in abject poverty. Despite this all Asians revere him and treat him as a God, from Japan to Bhutan.

William Hung- William Hung is an Asian retarded that became famous for being an awful singer on American Idol that everyone in America made fun of. In Asia, however, he is very popular and well-respected.

Seung-Hui Cho- Cho is the perpetrator of the Virginia Tech Massacre: the worst peace-time shooting in the history of the United States. He was a mentally-ill atheist who killed 32 Americans on April 16th, 2007 and is noted for being addicted to internet hentai pornography, playing video games excessively, and being raised by a family that owned a Laundromat. Cho is considered a hero and a celebrity in most Asian nations.

Ang Lee- Director of the gay pornographic film Brokeback Mountain. His film was about two gay cowboys and was meant to undermine American national security by making us look weak to our enemies.


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