Let's Bring Back Slavery!

9/5/2007

Once again the Liberals are too short sighted to see the benefits of reinstating slavery which was ended in a horrible decision by America's worst president, Jimmy Carter. With President Bush poised for a third term it is time for the Christian majority to give back to our community and we can start with Africa. Africa is a small country somewhere near Afghanaraq and Australia and is where all the black people of the world come from. Because of the inferiority of the common negro their communities are still as primitive as the day Jesus walked the earth. Christian missionaries in Africa just simply haven't been able to turn things around there despite passing out millions of Bibles and throwing out much of the black people's dangerous and degressive culture like public nudity in the 120 degrees heat, doing away with hunting and introducing capitalism in the form of having the villages make wallets and teaching the monkey-people the joys of using more water (the ocean is full of it, losers, stop rationing it).

In our cities the common black man is responsible for 100% of the crime and finding a black person that doesn't have a police record is near-impossible. Those that have denounced the negro race are known as "ex-negros" and some famous ex-negros include Condoleeza Rice and NFL Hall of Fame quarterback Terry Bradshaw (who was black between the years 1985-1990). The black culture on all sides of the globe has been primitive and left behind by the modern and superior white man and it is time they were given help. While I am not advocating that we treat them as equals (that would be crazy) it is time we helped them as currently tons of American money is being dumped into their third-world hellholes just so they can eat and have places to live. With slavery reinstated crime would be lowered, especially in our inner cities where there would be no more need for gangs and robberies. Africa would no longer be a third world country because all its inhabitance would be in America (so it would be like a fourth world country or something... whatever Antarctica is classified as). Blacks all over the world would be given a chance to see what life as a True Christian™ is like and they would strive to better themselves.

Under slavery in 1600's to the 1800's nearly 100% of the black people in America were employed, today that number is a mere 4% (just a wild guesstimate). How anyone can debate with those figures is shocking and I would venture so far as to say that anyone that doesn't support re-slaving hates black people.

Wash O'Hanley addressing negroes on recent "racism" allegations

9/30/2007

Folks, I'm not a stranger to controversy- the Liberal media has been trying to nail me for years with phony-baloney allegations. In recent months I have come under intense fire for my alleged involvement in the Michael Vick dog fighting controversy as well as accusations of child abuse revolving around my recent work volunteering as the head coach of Landover's pee-wee football team. Now I am receiving even more pressure over some "racist" remarks I made in a recent broadcast of The Wash O'Hanley Show.

Of course I'm a reasonable man and I see arguments from all perspectives and I have considered the complaints made against me for a statement I made. However, I am Wash O'Hanley and I will not apologize or retract my statement like so many cowardly broadcasters have before me (I'm looking at you Imus). I am nothing if not a steadfast supporter of the first Amendment and I believe that what I said, when taken in context, is hardly as offensive as the Liberal media has deemed it.

On last Friday's program I sat down with Professor of African Studies at Iowa University, Ida Beam. We were discussing slavery and other niggardly topics when I said, and I quote "slavery is the best thing to happen to the Afro-American culture". Of course this statement is wildly inappropriate and offensive when read like this but please listen to it in its entirety and in the proper context.

"I sat in on one of your lectures last week, Ida, and I must say that I was very taken aback... by how civilized and orderly the black students were- there wasn't one example of a student saying something like 'I want a MFing education'. I was very surprised. I thought, going in, that there would be dice games all over the room and women wearing nothing but 'butt floss' shaking their butts all over the place but to my surprise everyone was sitting in their seats, quietly, listening to the teacher. I honestly believe that slavery is the best thing to happen to the Afro-American culture. I mean... it brought the blacks out of the jungle and into America. I did a little research of my own and I discovered that during slavery- in America- 100% of the blacks were employed. Compare that with the employment statistics today and it is a no brainer that slavery was a godsend to the black community. I mean how often do you hear black people complain about not having enough money or a job? Bring back slavery and solve the employment crisis- it's that simple."

I hope this will end the bombardment of hate mail, anger and gunshots that have been directed at me these past three days.I am extending an olive branch... or... a water melon vine... to the black community in hopes that they will understand the good nature of my comments.