Classic Quotes

"I wish us Conservatives could just solve the whole birther thing so we can go back to focusing on proving the Holocaust never happened." - Wash O'Hanley 6/12/12

Classic Quotes

5/1/11

Wash on the death of Osama Bin Laden:

"The last time I was this happy was at my son's wedding, but this time I'm not firing a handgun into the air while vomiting moonshine and popcorn shrimp. I guess the jist of this post is I'm gonna grab a gun, get wrecked and head to Long John Silvers. AMERICA!"

For the Record...

Some people have accused me of wanting to repeal the First Amendment, but that simply isn't true. I believe Americans should be allowed to observe any religion they so choose, as long as it isn't one of the religions that will damn your eternal soul to Hell.

It's illegal to destroy your body with drugs, why is it legal to destroy your soul by worshiping false religions?

Wash O'Hanley on Fantasy Football

"I don't know if Christians should even be participating in it. Between Bible study, prayer, and church I don't know how anyone could fit any more fantasy activities in their day-to-day schedule."

Craigslist Shuts Down Adult Ads Section of Website

Craigslist shutdown its adult services listings on Friday replacing the link with a black bar with the word "censored" where the listings previously appeared.
The move comes after years of pressure to remove the ads, including an open letter from 17 state attorneys general in late August. The letter said "sharp public criticism of craigslist's Adult Services section reflects a growing recognition that ads for prostitution -- including ads trafficking children -- are rampant on it." The attorneys general requested Craigslist take immediate action to stop accepting ads since it "cannot, or will not" screen them. (More)

Now where are straight Conservative men like myself supposed to find strapping young guys to carry our luggage during vacations to Southeast Asia?

Classic Quotes

"Anyone that has sex on Valentine's Day is a terrorist." -2/13/2010

Classic Quotes

"Physically attacking homosexuals is a very important part of our religion and making it a hate crime devalues religious faith." -10/25/2009

Classic Quotes

"I can both impartially moderate and effectively debate my side of an issue at the same time. I got the power to do so after a head-on collision with a big rig transporting Energizer batteries and unsellable VHS tapes of Xanadu back in 1985. I had been up all night driving from Barstow to LA to make an appearance at a radio convention when I fell asleep at the wheel and veered into oncoming traffic. When I came to there was a great tingling in my head and ever since then I have had the power to moderate and participate in the same debate." -7/14/2009

Classic Quotes

"It's God's job to spend 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for infinity worrying about where we stick our penises and whether or not we are adding or subtracting them from our bodies, I just do it as a hobby.

I wish I had that job." -6/12/2009

Classic Quotes

"Remember that part in the Bible where Jesus shoots that guy in the face but he survives (it just went through his cheeks or something) and the guy stabs him in the back and then Jesus kicks him out a window but the guy holds on to the side and begs Jesus to help him but Jesus steps on his fingers and the guy falls like 45 stories onto a parked limo and the limo driver is like 'awwww that's comin' outta my paycheck!' ...Maybe that was the end of Die Hard, I get the Bible and Die Hard mixed up a lot." -6/5/2009

Classic Quotes

"The Liberal bias of Wikipedia is undeniable. I read the entire Hurricane Katrina page and not once does it present the acceptance of homosexuality as a cause of that disaster." -5/13/2009

Classic Quotes

"It's hard for me to wake up and pull myself out of bed every morning, bathe and shave, clothe myself, eat 7 egg McGriddles at participating McDonalds restaurants and put on my daily program when two men or two women are legally able to get married. I hope that the voters will rise up and put an end to this nonsense so we can get back on with our lives" -4/7/2009

Classic Quotes

"I've been trying to convert as many people to the Republican party since the 'election' of 'president' Obama but it turns out that my largest demographic is dogs whose owners left the radio on while they were away so the dogs wouldn't feel lonely" -4/2/2009

Classic Quotes

"Bees are the terrorists of the insect world. Heck, their homes are shaped like turbans." -7/2/2008

Classic Quotes

6/12/2008

"White man look at tornado, run away. Red man look at buffalo, sees tornado before it touches ground."

I guess it means that the buffalo can feel a tornado coming before it happens. This isn't helpful at all. Come to think of it he might have been a Mexican.

Classic Quotes

"I've never been with an Asian before but for Michelle Malkin I'd be willing to take a 'dip' in the Pacific Rim, if you know what I mean..."- Wash O'Hanley to Geraldo Rivera on The Wash O'Hanley Show December 19th 2006

Classic Quotes

"The Colonel is a belligerent, slightly insane old man that just showed up one day ten or fifteen years ago-- no one knew who he was, and he hasn’t left since. All we know about him is that on the first Tuesday of every month an official from the Bosnian Government personally comes to the station to give him an envelop and if you put a VHS tape too close to his head it’ll stop working. I keep him around because I know he’ll come in handy some day."  -2/20/2008

Classic Quotes

Wash O'Hanley on the gay television network:


"This is just as insidious and disgusting as the gay television network which has been shoved down the throats of Christians that wish to not be involved with such debauchery. It seems like this new "gay" television network is everywhere and, unfortunately, is completely unavoidable. After paying the subscription fee, having the cable guys come to my house and install the dish as well as update all the televisions in my house, set up the cable boxes and then find the channel on the list of over 300 premium HD stations my home was inundated with horrific images of homosexuality. Imagine if a child had gone through that simple step-by-step process- they too would have been subjected to the devilish agenda of the gay television network." -11/7/2007

Classic Quotes

"Whatever the gays can do to bring homosexuality and sloppy anal sex into our Christian living rooms and dinner tables. First we told them to never have sex, then they started having sex in their homes, then they started having sex in their clubs, then they moved to public restrooms, then they moved to playgrounds and now they just want to have sex in the open where anyone can see them. Well the elephant is in the living room, folks. They kept pushing and pushing and we kept giving and giving and now your children are going to grow up in a semen-stained future that is awash in a sea of homosexuality. Before you know it Christians will not be allowed to pray at the dinner table in their own home because the homosexuals that are having sex with their food get distracted by it." -9/17/2007

Classic Quotes

"You want me to accept you for being different and not recoil in terror every time you enter a room? Sure Mr. Gay Guy, Let me just drop everything I'm doing and disregard all the evidence I know about AIDS and open mouth kiss you with tongue just because you need to be treated equal." -9/3/2007