8/6/2010
Men, unlike women, cannot control their cravings and desires. Not all of these cravings and desires are necessarily sexual. Some men cannot control themselves around alcohol; if they see alcohol they must consume it. For others it is fixing things around the house or eating junk food. For me it's watching 24. Once Jack Bauer comes on the screen I'm no longer in control of anything: my actions, my behavior, sometimes even my bowels. I run around the house making gunshot noises while shooting an imaginary gun and kicking things over. These are compulsive behaviors that we cannot control. God gives men these shortcomings so we can overcome them, causing him to look favorably upon us.
How does a man that has a compulsive addiction to alcohol overcome it? He never puts himself in a situation where there is alcohol present. He rids his home of it and doesn't go to places like bars or parties where alcohol is prevalent.
Some men, however, are not addicted to alcohol or chocolate or black gay midget porn. Some men are addicted to having sex with attractive women. Any time they see an attractive woman dressed in a sexualized manner they are filled with lust and must have her. But while it is easy to make sure that alcohol never comes into your home and that you avoid situations where alcohol may be consumed, it is not easy to avoid situations where women will be dressed in a sinful and provocative manner. One minute you're going to the post office and the next an impromptu high school cheer leader car wash breaks out next to your car. The fact is that women have been SHOVING their HOT, SLICK, WET, SEXUAL, NUBILE, CURVY, SUPPLE YOUNG BODIES down our throats since the dawn of time and frankly we're sick of it.
It's hard enough having to be around these attractive young women, with them bending over to pick things up in front of us, sucking on a pencil at work, or eating phallic-shaped food within our view-- it's enough to drive a man crazy! Then all the sudden a loose boob pops out of a shirt and it's all over. If a man that is inclined toward compulsive sexual behavior sees something like that he is no longer in control of his actions and it is the woman's fault. After it's all over the woman acts like it was the man's fault for some reason, even though she was practically asking for it. Think about it: if there is a lust-filled man hiding in the dumpster behind the Toys R Us touching himself to the sounds of women screaming on his I-pod and then all of the sudden a provocatively-dressed woman walks by he is probably going to rape her. But consider this: if the woman had never walked down that alley the rape never would have happened in the first place. How can you blame the man for doing what he is inclined to do? And based on the fact that he was in a dark alley he in all likelihood acknowledged his problem and was going somewhere to AVOID women altogether.
So I'm just going to say this once, to any woman that may be reading this topic. Cover up those breasts. No one wants to look at them. Stop wearing such skimpy clothes in public because if a man ends up doing something to you that you aren't ready for it is no one's fault but your own.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
It's Your Fault if I Rape You
Prop 8 Struck Down
8/5/2010
WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME EVEN STAYING MARRIED AT THIS POINT? Marriage is now meaningless, folks. I'm sorry to break it to all of you, but if you're married right now you might as well just tear up your marriage license and go give a handjob to that Mexican guy at the liquor store for five dollars because the sanctity of marriage is no more.
What are we supposed to tell our children? What's going to happen when I am walking my grandchildren down the street and they see two women or two men holding hands? What am I supposed to tell that child? I'm sure that even the youngest of children with even the simplest of cognitive abilities can understand the concept of homosexuality, but what about me? I'm really lazy, and I don't want to be teaching my grand kids all sorts stuff.
Now we have in law a declaration that says as long as there are two consenting adults, it doesn't matter what sex they are: they can get married. Folks, the issue was never about consenting adults of the same sex. Marriage has always been about the relationship between two consenting adults of the same sex: a man and his bride's father. Who's to say at this point that you can't marry your neighbor's dog because your neighbor says it's ok?
But lastly, and most importantly, this is a loss for Democracy. Democracy is the greatest system of government that God ever gave to mankind. In November of 2008 the Christian conservatives and uninformed minority voters of California made it clear that they didn't want gays to be married, and then this activist homosexual judge in San Francisco squashed the will of over 7 million voters with the stroke of a pen. If the will of the majority can no longer be used to determine the rights of the minority what good is Democracy in the first place? I don't want to live in a country where I, a white Christian male, am powerless to decide the fate of racial and sexual minorities.
Wash on Rampant Drug Addiction in the Punditry World
7/20/2010
Look, when Rush was using these substances they weren't banned by the National Pundit Association of America. Rush just wanted to be the best and taking substances like Oxycontin gives a pundit that extra edge to give it their best.
If you're going to throw Rush under the bus because he popped a few pills then you're going to have to do the same to me. It's no secret that I once had an addiction to huffing anti-freeze. Yea, that's right-- anti-freeze. I couldn't make it through a day without getting fried on that stuff. I was living my life just for that next huff. Why did I do it? You try coming up with the material for a largely improvised three hour radio show (subtract 2 hours for commercials) that plays on the third most listened to Conservative channel in all of South Eastern Iowa and maybe then you'll understand the pressure that us pundits go through.
And don't for a second think that we are taking these substances for our enjoyment. These drugs all have serious side effects, but we accept that burden if it makes us better pundits. I have it on good authority that the pundit-enhancing substances Glenn Beck takes on a daily basis cause him to weep uncontrollably and look like a total pussy all the time.
In conclusion, if you're going to blame Rush for taking pundit-enhancing substances then you're going to have to blame every pundit in the media for the same thing because we all do it. But maybe you should take a step back and reflect on the fact that while we're all taking mind-altering substances so we can endure having to live with ourselves and put on our shows every day, and that at any given moment the pundit on any political television or radio show is whacked out of their mind: taking mind-altering substances yourselves has actually been shown to enhance the listening and watching experience of those shows for the viewers.