"If Wash O'Hanley didn't cover it, it probably wasn't that important anyway."

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Ground Zero Mosque, the First Amendment and the 14th Amendment (for some reason)

It doesn't surprise me in the least that thick-skulled Liberals and terrorist Muslims are hiding behind the First Amendment on the issue of the Ground Zero Mosque as evidence that it should be erected. While the Bill of Rights does protect the free exercise of any religion, you must understand the context in which it was written.

Consider the 14th Amendment for a moment. The 14th Amendment states in section 1 that:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. 

Now I'll admit, it SOUNDS like this Amendment is saying that a person from another country can come to America, have a baby, and that baby is an American citizen. I'll give you that. It does SOUND like that. But the truth of the matter, as explained by Professor Glenn Beck, is far more complicated:

Okay. We are the only country in the world that has anchor babies and do you know why we have anchor babies? We have anchor babies because the Democrats in Reconstruction tried to say, "Oh, well, you can free the slaves, but they're not citizens. So when they have a baby, the baby's got to go back to Africa." Really, Democrats? That's that was as good as you had? That's what it was. That's why we had anchor babies. We had to put that into the Constitution so you couldn't claim that they weren't citizens. Well, now, look what it's turned into. There was no Sunset on that. http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/44444/ 

That's right, the 14th Amendment was added to the Constitution after the Civil War to protect the children of freed slaves because the Democrats wanted to send them back to Africa for not being American citizens. This Amendment protected those children as being American citizens so they could continue to live with their parents while they got their rap careers/urban wear companies started. Unfortunately our founding fathers who wrote this Amendment after the Civil War in 1868 didn't have the foresight (due in some part, one would assume, to the fact that most of our founding fathers were in their late hundred and twenties by 1868) to include a date on which this Amendment would no longer be valid. As a result, people from all over the world, many of whom terrorists, have breached our borders in the vulnerable Arizona and Texas regions to have terrorist anchor babies who they will raise to hate America.

What does all of this have to do with the First Amendment? Just like the 14th Amendment, which our decrepit and senile founding fathers forgot to pen with a sunset clause, the First Amendment was also supposed to only apply to a certain group and expire at a certain time.

You must understand the context of the First Amendment and why it was included in the Bill of Rights in the First place. Why was America even founded in the first place? The first colonists to reach Plymouth Rock in 1620 had come here for the specific purpose of escaping religious intolerance in their own land, and to develop a society that was accepting of all faiths. But I ask you, humble listeners, what faith was most prevalent in those days? If you answered with "Christianity" you're correct! The pilgrims were all Christians, the colonists were all Christians and all of our American patriots of that era were Christians. When the first Amendment was penned in the Bill of Rights the markings on those pages were being made by hands that had witnessed religious persecution for being a certain sect of Christianity, and with the swiping of that feather they abolished the idea of Christian persecution at the hands of a governing body in this country until Obama was elected President.

Unfortunately, like the 14th Amendment, the First Amendment didn't come with a sunset clause either. No American Christian living today has been subject to religious persecution in their state (unless you consider being arrested for attempting to kidnap Terri Shiavo's dormant body out of a Florida hospice days before her death to be religious persecution). But like the 14th Amendment, which says that anyone born in America is an American citizen, but means something completely different, so too does the First Amendment say one thing and mean something else. Let's take a look at the First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Now I will concede that the part I put in bold does sound like there are no Constitutional Grounds on which to prevent the building of the Mosque on top of the site where the World Trade Centers once stood, but take a look at my changes, added in red, that clarify exactly what the founders intended:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of the Christian religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. 
Our founding fathers knew of no Muslims because they weren't around in America at that time. They didn't have the foresight to include special provisions for special religions that didn't exist in America at that time. Had our founding fathers known that Muslims would soon overrun our major cities and gain a monopoly on the taxi-driving industry things would most certainly have been different. Case in point: go look at any painting depicting an American street or city in colonial times. Notice any street vendors selling Falafels? Me neither.

The First Amendment, as our founding fathers envisioned it, did not include Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Scientologists, Atheists, Buddhists, Mormons or Catholics. The rights ensured to all citizens in that hallowed document were only meant to be extended to people of the Christian faith, and in light of this I, and many other Conservatives, believe it is time to rethink and re-write this Amendment to the form that our founding fathers truly wanted it.

You may be saying: "But Wash, I thought you've said on numerous occasions back in 2008 that the Constitution is not a living document?" This is true, the Constitution is NOT a living document, but there are still grounds on which we may change the words on this document if it is necessary. For the Constitution is not a dead document either. That's right, the Constitution is neither living nor dead... the Constitution is UNDEAD; rising from the sweet embrace of the grave to wander the streets of our fair cities, it's only form of sustenance the brains of our slower, fatter and dumber citizens as huddled bands of survivors live on rooftops and cellars, hording whatever food and weapons they can amass in anticipation of that one last battle.

The only way to stop the Constitution at this point is to separate its brain from its body, and when you do that, getting rid of the 14th Amendment and preventing the construction of the Ground Zero Mosque on political grounds makes a lot more sense.

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