Local Christmas Get-Together Ends In Violence
December 20th, 2007
What started as a small company Christmas Party at Freehold Light Baptist Radio, home of the Wash O'Hanley Show- South Eastern Iowa's leading Right Wing Political/Sports/Opinion/Alternative Lifestyle program, ended in violence Wednesday night when host Wash O'Hanley punched former South African President Nelson Mandela in the face.
"This is nothing uncommon, my parties are always 'off the chain' and it is no surprise that a minor celebrity would want in. The problem is that he wasn't on the guest sheet. He showed up uninvited, had too much to drink and disrupted the party." -Wash O'Hanley
Guests at Mr. O'Hanley's party said they were having a great time until Mr. O'Hanley punched the 89 year old politician in the face.
"Basically I was over at the Christmas tree talking with Wash when he looks over and says 'is that Morgan Freeman?' I told him it was Nelson Mandela, but Wash didn't know who that was. Wash let Nelson stay because he said one darkie wouldn't ruin a party, and if worse came to worse he can take coats."- Iowa Congressman Jim Leach (Republican)
From there, however, things went sour and escalated into fighting.
"Mr. Freeman got pretty liquored up, at first he was just taking vodka shots but eventually he started doing beer bong hits from our keg. Imagine my surprise to look over and see the star of The Shawshank Redemption standing on his head with a hose in his mouth connected to the keg. From there he began to grope a female guest and I had to put a stop to it. I walked up to Morgan and politely asked him to leave, he then became fairly offended by this and was yelling 'Do you know who I am, nigga? Nigga, I'm Nelson Mandela! I spent 18 years in prison, I created the armed wing of the ANC, I fought the apartheid, I WAS THE PRESIDENT OF SOUTH AFRICA, nigga! If I want to get crunked up in yo bitch I will nigga, what you gonna do bout it? Nigga, I'll buy this whole ****ing building we're in right now, straight cash, nigga. Awww, just a minute, nigga, Jay-Z's callin me.' I then punched Morgan Freeman in the face." -Wash O'Hanley
However, the guests at the party tell a different story.
"Yea, Wash was pretty drunk about 15 minutes into the party, at one point he held a conversation with a lamp about illegal immigration before using the Christmas tree as a urinal. Although we were all pretty stunned that Nelson Mandela came to our party, we think it is a real shame that Wash got so drunk and punched him in the face and made all those racial remarks at him." -Freehold Light Baptist Radio Vice President Rebbecca McDonald
Despite what Mr. O'Hanley's testimony claims, Morgan Freeman is currently doing promotion for his new film The Bucket List, which opens this Friday, and was not in Iowa on Wednesday night. According to all the guests at the party, Mr. Mandela was courteous, polite and sober and at no point did he ever use any foul language. No permanent damage was done to Nelson Mandela and he is recovering from his wounds in private. A spokesperson for Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton could not be reached.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010