"If Wash O'Hanley didn't cover it, it probably wasn't that important anyway."

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A Letter to Embattled Model Carrie Prejean



Hi, this is Wash O'Hanley. I'm a pretty big radio pundit and local television hero in Iowa and I'm here to give you some advice from one figure in the public eye to another. Radio pundits often say things that get blown out of proportion and made fun of publicly just like you've had your words publicly scrutinized this past week.

A lot of people have made what you've said an issue, something political, and in a way that isn't fair. This was a beauty pageant and you were asked an inherently political question. I just want to be the first person to come to your side and let you know that it isn't your fault. Don't listen to these people because they're all wrong.

A lot of people have probably told you that you have a right to your opinions and that there is nothing wrong with having your beliefs. These people are wrong. Regardless of what anyone tells you-- whether it is someone that you are a close friend with, someone you've never met, your parents or your pastor-- being opposed to same sex marriage DOES make you a bigot. You do not get to mask your bigotry behind a 2,000 year old book and somehow have it not be bigotry. You are a bigot for the things that you said on national television and people are right to make fun of you for it.

A lot of people have come forward in your defense this week to say that what you said wasn't wrong, but as it happens, they are also bigots. In fact, anyone that likes you is probably a bigot. You have been surrounded by bigots your entire life. You said that you were raised to believe what you said on that stage without the slightest hint of irony, as if everything your parents ever taught you were inherently true. I'm also here to explain to you that just because your parents taught you something does not mean it is true. Parents do not have to pass an IQ test to procreate-- in fact, most people that procreate probably couldn't pass an IQ test. Bigots procreate more than any other demographic because there aren't a lot of us out there and we are kind of pitiful people. Unlike people that aren't bigotted that get kicks out of going to craft fairs and farmers markets, bigots like to warp young children's minds. The bigot's favorite past time is sitting his or her son down and teaching them all of the messed up things that they believe. Why do you think that nearly 90% of the homeschoolers out there are bigots?

But before I go any further I think I should explain the context of the word "bigot". A lot of bad people have used the word "bigot" to make people like you and me look bad. "Bigot" isn't a bad word, a naughty word, a hurtful word. Bigot is empowering, and it reminds us of our past. Have you ever wondered why black people can say the "N" word but when I call Bernie Mac that word the day after he died on my show I get slapped with a hefty FCC fine? Bigot is a disgusting and hurtful word used against people like you and I just because we hate certain people for little to no reason. But when you turn that term around on its head it loses its power, but enables us to never forget the challenges that our bigoted ancestors faced.

Bigots carry many burdens, the greatest of which is being made fun of. But not only in your own time will you be made fun of. Because your bigotry was caught on tape and is now on youtube. Mass media has always been the greatest enemy of the bigot and the portable cell phone camera is our arch nemesis. Your bigotry is going to last through the ages. Like our grandfathers that were filmed standing up to the injustice of equal rights for black people and are now used for stock footage in Civil Rights documentaries-- you too are going to be laughed at repeatedly in 40-50 years. Some day gays are going to have the same rights as heterosexuals regardless of how hard people like you and I publicly embarass ourselves on national television crying about it. And when those gays have the same rights as us there are going to be documentaries made about their struggles (probably made by gay people) and footage of you on that stage at the Miss USA Pagaent is going to be shown and people are going to laugh at you just like they laugh at the people that protested James Meredith at his first day of school at Ole' Miss.

Stand strong, Carrie, and never let the hate out of your heart.

Washburn 'Big Tex' Rutherford O'Hanley III aka Wash O'Hanley

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